Confessions of an imperfect mother...

Excuse the plethora of pictures, but I am once again using my blog for my own therapeutic purposes. Justin, Clay and I had a mostly wonderful weekend in Kelowna with Justin's parents and grandma, but we also had a fight in front of Clay. Not the calm arguing kind of fight that causes Clay to say to us "stop talking!", but the we-better-take-a-break-else-someone-might-get-hurt kind of fight. We have so far managed to limit most of our moments of passion to when Clay is asleep, but not this time. And of course, we fought about the subject ALL of our major fights have been about over the past three years - Clay. Those of you wanting to be parents should know that having kids brings up a whole new dimension in marriage, and the pain of working out all those newly married kinks is nothing compared to how angry, upset, and hurt one can become when they feel like their partner is implying that they are a bad, or worse, a selfish parent.

Its true that Clay often seems more demanding and easily frustrated on trips, as he is out of his element and not sleeping as well, but during this trip every meltdown triggered feelings of guilt in me. I was sure that my anger and aggression had traumatized him for life, and his tantrums and tears were evidence of permanent emotional scars. As other parents know, maternal guilt can be crippling at times! I am cheering myself up by uploading pictures of us having fun as a family, and by listening to Chris Tomlin's "Your Grace is Enough." See, doesn't he look like a happy, treasured, and well-adjusted little guy in these pictures?